


Peridot

by SadieIRL



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst and Feels, F/F, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-20
Updated: 2017-07-20
Packaged: 2018-12-04 12:08:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11554902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SadieIRL/pseuds/SadieIRL
Summary: What was Peridot hiding behind those scared eyes and her question: "Is that a weapon?"She's finally ready to tell her story if you're willing to hear it.





	Peridot

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally going to be part of a bigger story, which I've started writing but there's just so much going on with multiple characters I didn't have 18 pages to devote to Peri's past, so here's her past as a short story.
> 
> Comments and kudos welcome! 
> 
> UPDATED 7/27/17 - Changed the song between Elegance and Peridot. I had been searching for the perfect lullaby and finally was fortunate enough to stumble across it on YouTube. I will have a link in the end notes if you would like to listen to it. It's not just perfect for Peridot but also for another character in an upcoming fic! ;)

_I didn’t exist, and then I did…_

                She had said these words to Steven once, but she wondered how true they were.  She remembered being in a warm place and it felt nice, like she never wanted to emerge.  Her hands ran along the smooth rock of Homeworld’s prime kindergarten and then she stepped out and took a breath.  The light nearly blinded the eyes she was unaware she had yet.  She had no real concept of what she looked like though she was created with an innate sense that she was a gem and she was called ‘peridot’.  She figured she must look similar to the tall, green gem now looking her over and assigning her a facet and cut.  The other one smiled.  “Welcome.  You’re a tiny one, but we’ll fix that soon enough. Come on.”

                Peridot followed, unsure of where they were going and looked around at the towering mountains with holes in them everywhere.  She stopped to run her foot along the ground, amazed at the dust she stirred up, then ran to catch up to the other gem who was like her, but unlike her.

                “New arrival,” the tall gem announced when they had entered a large metal room with a table in the middle.  “She needs to be fitted and make her enhancers just slightly taller.  She’s pretty small.”

                Before she could curiously slide her toes against the smooth floor, hands grabbed her and put her on the table.  She tried getting up, but was held in place. 

                “This won’t hurt; just hold still,” said a disembodied voice. 

                Machines descended from the ceiling and encased her hands and feet.  It would be a long time before she would ever feel anything besides metal again.  She didn’t know this at the time; she didn’t know much of anything until another machine shone a light on her gem and her mind became flooded with information.  There were other gems, all different kinds and they grew in other places from minerals whose names filled her brain.  There were incubation times and information on technical gadgets she now couldn’t wait to use.  She was a peridot and she had a purpose and new toys and this made her smile a little. 

                She leapt off the table once the machines were done and immediately fell to the ground in a heap.  Sheepishly, her eyes met those of the other peridot who offered a hand and helped her up.  “You’ll get used to your limb enhancers.  It just takes time.” 

                Peridot took in the other gem’s long green dress and looked down at the skin-tight uniform on her own body.  She also noticed this other peridot did not have metal around her body parts.  “Why don’t you have them?”

                “I was made thousands of years ago in Era One.  Due to my natural abilities, I don’t need them, but you have nothing that makes you special; no abilities, no powers, just your intellect, which is good enough for your job.”

                She still was not quite as tall as the other peridot whose long blonde hair swished back and forth as she led her novice through a hallway.  Peridot took the opportunity to glance over as they passed a reflective surface and stopped to run a floating finger along the smooth glass.  She was not as elegant as her superior.   Her short hair was arranged in a triangular fashion; her skin tight appearance modifiers were simple with a yellow emblem on it.  “I was made to serve Yellow Diamond?”

                “That is correct.  Now, come on.  I’ll show you where you’ll be working.” 

                It was quiet…much too quiet as they walked through the corridor with only their footsteps making any sound.  Peridot mused on what she could say; questions she could ask, but she had already been filled with all the knowledge she needed to fulfill her purpose.  She didn’t know anything, however, about this elegant gem guiding her.  “How do I address you?”

                “You are my subordinate, so ‘ma’am’ would be appropriate.  As I’m sure you’re aware, we don’t have ‘names’ here.  Those are for less advanced beings.”

                “If I could name you, I’d pick the name ‘Elegance’.”

                The other peridot laughed.  “What a foolish notion!  I wouldn’t go around saying such things out loud, but if it helps you, then you may call me that in your mind, Little One.”

                Peridot smiled as she realized Elegance had settled on a name for her, too.

*

                Even with her limb enhancers, she was about two inches shorter than her Era Two counterparts, but her mind was twice as sharp and she regularly completed her work with such speed that all her supervisors were impressed.  However, Elegance, especially had taken a shine to her.  “Keep it up and they’ll send you out on missions to the colonies.  Oh, the things you’ll see.  Have you ever stood by the shore of an ocean?”  Elegance laughed.  “Well, of course you haven’t.”

                As soon as Elegance had left the work area, Peridot took the opportunity to look up exactly what an ocean was.  Pictures and videos showed large areas of water teaming with organic life.  There were instructional videos meant for Lapis Lazulis on how to harness the water’s power to help with terraforming, which was an essential part of making the kindergartens where one day, if she proved herself, Peridot might work.  Right now, however, she was stuck in a room with several other gems of the same kind filing reports from remote locations.  She was almost done for the day, when an amethyst guard came to her work station.  “Yellow Agate wants to see you.”

                Elegance may have been the direct supervisor, but Agate was the main overseer – even above Elegance’s boss.  Peridot realized she was either getting a major promotion, or was in big trouble.  She felt her fingers tremble against the metal of her arm enhancers as she followed the amethyst.  They were big, even to her – warriors, she knew.  Not as strong as other quartz gems, however, so they were often used as guards.  “Do you know why she’s asked for me?”

                “No, but if it’s bad, don’t make excuses, just apologize.”  The amethyst laughed.  “One time I was messing around with another guard and we totally smashed through a door.  We got lectured something fierce, but otherwise she went pretty easy on us considering.”

                “I can’t think of anything I’ve done.”

                “Well, maybe it’s for something good then.”

                Peridot took a deep breath before punching in the code and entering Yellow Agate’s office.  “You asked to see me.”

                “Yes,” Yellow Agate turned away from her screen and faced Peridot.  “As I’m sure you know, your work station is to be used only for work purposes.  I have a report that you were researching non-work related subjects on your computer, specifically oceans and the function of terraforming gems.  Would you please explain how this relates to the report you were assigned?”

                “It doesn’t.  I was merely curious.”  Wait, was that an excuse?  Apologize.  “I’m sorry.  It won’t happen again.”

                “Curiosity can cause trouble and you would do well to remember that.”

                She couldn’t stop herself.  “I’d heard about oceans and I wanted to know more.  If I get assigned somewhere, then a planet with oceans might be nice.”

                Yellow Agate gave a short laugh.  “You are nowhere _close_ to being sent _anywhere_.”

                “But, I was created to be a Kindergartener, so at some point, I should get sent to another world, right?”

                “Not every peridot gets that opportunity.  Right now you are only a technician and a lowly, new one at that.  Remember your place.  That will be all.”

                Peridot turned and headed back down the hall toward her station.  Was it so wrong to be curious?  Was it wrong to want more?  On the way, she passed by a window that looked out over other buildings and part of the local kindergarten.  She sighed.  There had to be more than just typing information into reports that honestly meant little to her.  The other peridots seemed to do their jobs without question and she wondered if she was somehow defective.

                “I heard you were called to a meeting with Yellow Agate,” Elegance’s voice broke her thoughts.   “Is everything okay?”

                Peridot filled her in on what had been said.  “Is something wrong with me?”      

                “Of course not.  You are a technician – a scientist – it’s normal to be curious.”

                “Have you ever seen an ocean?”

                “Yes, I have.”  Elegance leaned in close and dropped her voice.  “I’ll take you to see one, sometime, if you like.”

                Peridot’s eyes lit up.  “Really?”

                “Yes, but it stays between us.  Now, go on.”

*

                It didn’t happen right away, but slowly over time.  It was the kindness in Elegance’s voice and her patience as Peridot learned more about how to do her job.   It was the tingle of electricity that went up Peridot’s spine when Elegance put a hand on her back.  Months had passed and Peridot wondered what it would be like to actually touch someone – or something – with her own hands, but the limb enhancers stayed on at all times. 

                They still had not seen an ocean; in fact Peridot had put it to the back of her mind.  She needed to impress her supervisors if she was ever going to be promoted to Kindergartener.  However, one day, after work, Elegance excitedly put her arm around the smaller gem’s shoulders.  “Come with me.  I’ll show you how we unwind after a hard shift.”

                Through long hallways and twisting corridors and finally down a flight of stairs, she wondered where they were headed until finally they arrived at a door that Elegance opened by pressing a few buttons.  Peridot immediately felt inadequate; she was surrounded by Era One peridots – tall, impressive, without limb enhancers and decidedly beautiful.  In the center of them was the one she and Elegance secretly call Big Boss.  Big Boss was one step under Agate and may have very well been the first peridot ever created.  She was very old and very wise, and as Peridot now observed, she was very good at singing.  She had heard music before, of course, but had never known peridots to sing.  Such pursuits were for aristocratic gems with time to spare, or pearls performing for their masters.  But, Big Boss was singing a verse and then every other green gem in the room responded with the chorus. 

                At first she observed, but after only a minute or so, caught onto the tune and the lyrics and allowed her voice to chime in with the others.  Her voice rose above everyone’s – clear, strong and beautiful.  Quiet fell around her and it took a moment before she realized she was singing on her own and all the Era Ones were staring at her. 

                “What are you doing here?”  Big Boss asked in a cool tone.

                “I…um…” 

                “I invited her,” Elegance said.  “I didn’t think it would be a problem.”

                Big Boss strode over to them in about three steps.  “We have never had the Era Two models in here.  This is for the more elite class only.”

                “Elite?” Elegance laughed.  “We’re peridots.  If you can find a truly elite gem who wants to set foot in here, let me know.”

                 Big Boss turned her attention to Peridot.  “Get out.  You are not welcome here.”

                She noticed something in the other gem’s eyes before she turned and left.  It was a look, a feeling she couldn’t quite name.  She pondered it as she walked away from the room, but got only a ways down the hall before she heard footsteps and Big Boss calling to her.  “Wait!  You forgot something!”

                “How is that possible?”  Peridot asked, turning around.  “I didn’t even br…”  Her sentence was cut short by a hard punch to the nose and before she knew it, she was up against the wall with a strong hand around her neck. 

                “You forgot your place!  You are inferior to us; do you understand?!” 

                Peridot’s metal feet scraped against the wall as she struggled to free herself.  The fingers tightened around her neck and she couldn’t answer.  Weakly, she nodded. 

                “Don’t ever upstage me again.”  And with those words, Big Boss let her fall in a heap to the floor before sashaying away. 

                Stunned, she lay there for a minute breathing heavily and trying to ignore the pain.  She realized the look she had been given – it was jealousy.  Her voice was better and Big Boss didn’t like it.  She knew not all Era One gems were as nice to their younger counterparts as Elegance, but this seemed unnecessarily cruel. 

                “You need help?”  A voice asked. 

                She looked over to see an amethyst guard offering her a hand.  She accepted and stood.  “Thank you.”

                “What’d you do?  Say the wrong thing to a jasper?”

                Peridot had never actually met a jasper, but the comment made her smile.  “Something like that.” 

“I’m 7XG, but my friends call me Ami.  What do you go by?”

“I’m called…”  Well, she was called 5XG by most other gems, except  Elegance who referred to her as ‘Little One’, but that name seemed special.  “I…uh…I’m Peri.”

“Easy to remember, like mine.  Why aren’t you with the others?”

Inwardly, she feared retaliation if she told the truth.  “It’s not my kind of thing.”

Ami laughed.  “You should come to a quartz party sometime.  We know how to have fun.”

“You’d really let me?”

“Sure, the more the merrier.”

                She didn’t know it at the time, but this friendship would end up meaning the world to Peridot…and she would never forget it…until she did.

*

                “Psst…Little One.” 

                Peridot rounded the corner and found Elegance hiding out down a deserted hallway.  “You waited for me…”

                “I want to show you something.”  Elegance took the younger gem’s hand and brought her into a room.  The walls were white and nothing else was in it except for a small console.  Peridot was about to ask what was going on when all of a sudden the walls lit up with color revealing things she’d never seen.  But, toward where the back wall once was she saw an ocean. 

                “It’s a holograph room,” Peridot realized out loud.

                “Yes, this is the beach program.  It would be difficult at this point to go to a real beach, but I promised you I’d find a way for you to see an ocean.” 

                The room provided warmth as though the sun were real and cool air to simulate a breeze.  It was so different from the mechanical surroundings Peridot was used to.  She sat down and watched as the computer generated waves lapped against the faux sand.  She closed her eyes and imagined she was on some distant planet for a moment.  Peridot smiled as she felt the warmth of Elegance’s presence sitting beside her and was pulled into an embrace.  If it weren’t for Elegance, her existence would be as cold and barren as the walls that often surrounded her.  Those same electric shivers ran through her body as she felt the older gem squeeze her shoulder.

                “You’re a unique gem, Little One.” 

                She opened her eyes and turned her face toward Elegance.  “Peri.  I’ve decided on Peri.”

                “Peri…” Elegance gently whispered before she pressed her lips against Peridot’s. 

                The electricity turned to a tingle all over her body and she shuddered slightly.  After not being able to touch anything with her hands, she never imagined her mouth could be so sensitive.  It was so overwhelming in the moment that she pulled away breathlessly.   

                “I-I apologize if that was out of line,” Elegance stammered.  “I’ve…I’ve just never met a gem like you.”  She ran her fingers along Peridot’s cheek. 

                “It’s okay.  I enjoyed it.”  Peridot felt her face flush.  “I wouldn’t mind if you did it again.”

                Elegance’s arms wrapped around her, protective and strong and their lips came together again.  It was sweet; it was thrilling and a little scary.  Peridot inhaled sharply through her nose as she felt Elegance’s tongue skim her upper lip and she opened her mouth to let her know this was okay.  Electricity filled not only her body but the air and she felt her hair standing on end.  A low hum came from the room and Elegance immediately pulled away.  The walls were blank and the simulated weather was gone. 

                Elegance softly chuckled.  “I’m…uh…I’m supposed to be fixing this room.” 

                A moment of awkwardness passed between them and then together they laughed.

*

                They had to be discreet about their affection for each other.  It was not something normal between gems to do such things, though Peridot failed to see exactly what was so wrong about it.  When they kissed, when they held each other, it felt good; Peridot felt connected to her…well, she wasn’t exactly sure of the correct terminology.  Clearly, Elegance was her supervisor as well, but she was so much more than that.  The only gem she entrusted with this newfound relationship was Ami.

                “That’s really sweet.  I have someone, too.”

                “Why do they frown on us being…close?”

                “I’m not sure.  I mean, it makes sense not to be with someone outside your caste, of course.  But, you and Elegance are both peridots and I’m with a jasper – another quartz, so I don’t really see the problem.  The diamonds have their rules for a reason I suppose.”

                Peridot nodded. “It is best not to question it.”

                It was better not to break those rules either, but when Elegance and Peridot got the chance, they would meet up to talk, which usually led to cuddling, kissing and the like.  Sometimes when she wasn’t expecting it, Elegance would pull her into a deserted hallway or room and those were the rather exciting times Peridot looked forward to.  However, it was dangerous; they never forgot that, and around the others, they kept their relationship strictly professional. 

                Peridot also knew she had fallen under Big Boss’ watchful eye.  Usually she didn’t give a damn about the lesser Era Two peridots, but she sure had it out for her!  More than once, she’d been called to explain why something in a report was wrong or why her work hadn’t been finished.  And Peridot knew why – Big Boss was clearly manipulating her data, but of course, she couldn’t say that.  So, when she was called to a meeting with her, she figured it was something like this again.  She entered and saw two jaspers standing nearby.  They were big and intimidating.  Peridot kept her gaze ahead.  “You wanted to see me?”

                “Yes.  Tell me, how are you getting along with your supervisor?”

                Oh no… “I don’t have much interaction with…”

                “Don’t lie to me.  Someone saw you and they saw what you two were doing.”  Big Boss circled her.  “Your supervisor has already been detained and will be replaced.  That sort of disgusting behavior is for organic life forms, not gems who should be above such temptation.” 

                “But I…we…we’re…”

                “What?  In love?  Ha!  The only feeling you should have for her is reverence and nothing beyond that.  And she shouldn’t even give you a second thought.  Instead, you’ve disgraced your positions and the diamond you serve.” 

                “But we…”

                “Shut up.  Now, we understand you’re under her influence but you’ve been willful from the start.  You’ve definitely been a problem to me since you can’t even do your job right half the time.”

                Anger fueled a fire inside her.  “Because you change my data!  You delete things from my reports!  You’ve been against me ever since I ‘upstaged’ you!  Is that what you’re worried about, really – that I’ll upstage you here too?!” 

                Pain exploded against her cheek as Big Boss backhanded her and she fell smacking her head against the desk.  Stars danced in front of her as she lay on the ground dazed.  The front of her appearance modifier was grabbed and Big Boss said in a dark, gravely tone: “I will _destroy_ you!”

                Peridot attempted to get up, but one of the jaspers grabbed her and roughly pulled her to her feet.  Big Boss continued: “You’ve been recommended for re-education and I plan to see that carried out.  You will be reinstated to your position as soon as you’ve learned your lesson.” 

                Before she could respond, something sharp was jabbed into her stomach and she cried out in pain as a fiery shock spread throughout her body, which poofed away and left her unconscious. 

*

                She reformed in a cell and the first thing she noticed is that her limb enhancers were gone.  She otherwise would have looked up what ‘re-education’ entailed but without her screen, she was entirely in the dark.  She ran her hand along the smooth, curved wall and briefly touched the glowing yellow force field until it zapped her and she pulled away.  Fear set in.  Where had they taken Elegance?  Was she here somewhere too?  Where was here?  

                “Hello!” she called out.  “Anyone here?!” 

                No answer.  She sat down and drew her knees up to her chest.  How long would she be here?  What were they planning to do with her?  All this was done simply because she kissed someone…simply because she had dared to challenge social norms and fall in love.  Of course, in gem society, some ‘social norms’ doubled as laws. 

                It seemed like a long while before anyone came and when they did, it was the same two jaspers.  They deactivated the force field and one of them grabbed her arm.

                “What’s happening?  Where are we going?”  Peridot felt panic rise in her. 

                “Shut up!”  The jasper squeezed her arm even tighter.  

                Peridot remained quiet and walked with them until they reached a room where Yellow Agate and another peridot waited.  There was a table in the middle and various items on the walls Peridot didn’t recognize, but she didn’t want to find out what they did.  The jaspers strapped her face down on the table.  She looked at the other peridot with pleading eyes.  The other quickly looked at her, but then turned her attention back to her screen.  “Please identify yourself.”

                “What?”

                “For the report.  Which peridot are you?”

                “Oh…my friends call me Peri.”  She heard a crack from behind her and she screamed as pain spread across her back. 

                “That was the incorrect response,” the other peridot said almost robotically.  “Which peridot are you?”

                Her voice caught in her throat as she realized what ‘re-education’ really meant – interrogation and torture.  Her back still stung; she shut her eyes against the pain.  This she knew without her screen, but it was hard to recall at the moment when she hurt so bad. 

                “Answer the question, or do you want another?”  Agate asked.

                “Facet-2F5L Cut-5XG,” she answered weakly. 

                “And what is your purpose?” 

                Oh, stars, what did they want?  “I’m…I’m a techn…”  Peridot screamed again as pain coursed from her back through her entire body.

                “That is your _job_ ,” Agate told her.  “What is your _purpose_?”

                A tear fell from her eye.  “I…” she shot a pleading look to the other peridot who quickly looked down at her screen as though nothing out of the ordinary was going on. 

                “ANSWER ME!”  

                “My purpose is…um…” She saw the other peridot move one of her floating fingers discreetly and tap the diamond symbol on her uniform.  “…to serve Yellow Diamond?” 

                “That sounded like a guess.”  Agate gestured to the jaspers.

                “No…no wait…” Peridot heard the crack again…a whip, she knew, and from the extreme pain, probably an electric one. 

                “Now…” Agate practically purred in a fake sweet voice.  “Do you want to answer or do you want to guess?”

                Peridot bit her lip to keep from sobbing.  Her body still tingled with pain.  She took a shaky breath and softly answered.  “My purpose is to serve Yellow Diamond.”

                Agate looked at the jaspers.  “And one for the other one too…” she turned to the second peridot with a cruel grin on her lips.  “I saw that.”

                Before she could react, Peridot’s counterpart was struck across the face with the whip.  Her visor shattered and she screamed as she covered her eyes.  She felt a hand on her back intentionally tracing the areas where she’d been hit.  “Now…” came Agate’s sickly sweet voice.  “You realize that wouldn’t have happened if you’d just followed the rules.  Your actions have consequences for more than just you.” 

                Peridot writhed uncomfortably trying to get away from Agate’s touch.  “I did nothing wrong!”

                “I would suggest that you deeply reconsider those words.  Because from what I understand there is a long list of behaviors and false beliefs we need to remedy here.”  She turned to the second peridot.  “Please read them off.”

                “I…I can’t see.”  The other technician’s voice rose with panic.  “I can’t see!”

                “Now look at what you’ve caused.  I suppose we should add that to the list.  I want you to think about your actions and about how you’ll answer my questions next time we meet.  In the meantime, these jaspers will punish you accordingly.”

                “No, please…” 

                “It’s much more dignified if you don’t beg, my dear.”  Yellow Agate left, leading the injured peridot out of the room.  

                She was hit with the whip no fewer than fifty times…at least that’s when she gave up counting.  Her eyes felt puffy after crying so much and her throat was raw and sore from screaming.  Finally, the jaspers undid her restraints and brought her, trembling, back to her cell.  She crumpled to the floor, exhausted, her back still hurting and her entire body tingling uncomfortably. 

                Next time…Agate had said.  Peridot felt fresh tears come to her eyes.  She would have to face this again.

*

                It was lonely and cold and she wasn’t sure when the jaspers would come again.  She couldn’t sit and lean against the wall, but bit by bit her back started to feel better.  She had no log or calendar so she wasn’t sure how much time was passing.  Had she been there only a few hours or a matter of days?  Then, a sound caught her attention from one of the other cells.  It started soft but then gained strength.  It was pleasing and rhyming and she recognized it…music…a song.

_Wandering child of the earth_

_Do you know just how much you're worth?_

_You have walked this path since your birth_

_You were destined for more_

                It was Elegance.  She’d know that voice anywhere…and that song.  Elegance had taught it to her.  Peridot cleared her throat and answered in a clear voice.

_There are those who'll tell you you're wrong_

_They will try to silence your song_

_But right here is where you belong_

_So don't search anymore_

                Peridot didn’t understand all the words or the meaning behind this song, but the melody was pretty and it was a way to let Elegance know she was here.  Without missing a beat, they both picked up on the next few lines.

_You are the dawn of a new day that's waking_

_A masterpiece still in the making_

_The blue in an ocean of grey_

_You are right where you need to be_

_Poised to inspire and to succeed_

_You'll look back and you'll realize one day_

                “Peri?” Elegance’s voice was close…maybe only a cell or two away. 

                “I’m here.”

                “Did they hurt you?”

                Telling the truth would only wound her.  “No, I’m fine.”

                “I appreciate your effort to spare my feelings.  But, they did, didn’t they?”

                “Yes.”

                “I’m sorry, my Little One.”

                “Did they hurt you?”

                “Not that they know.”

                Peridot knew this likely meant they did, but Elegance had faced it with much more dignity, probably taking the punishment without making a sound.   Suddenly, a loud bang was heard from not too far away.

                “STOP TALKING!” 

                One of the guards, Peridot knew and sure enough not a few seconds later, the same jasper glared at her through the force field.  “YOU TOO!”  The jasper turned off the force field, pulled her up by the arm and forced her out of the cell.  “Come on.”

                “No…no, please…not again…”  Peridot planted her feet on the ground trying to stop the guard, but the jasper picked up the smaller gem and threw her over her shoulder.

                This time they didn’t ask her about her name or purpose; the questions were about her relationship with Elegance.  And when she talked of love, or kissing or anything Agate deemed ‘disgusting’ and ‘unnatural’, she was met with a weapon that caused burning pain to her back or legs. 

                “We heard them singing too,” one of the jaspers said. 

                “Singing is not for peridots,” Agate told her.  “Have you done this before?  With her?”

                When she refused to answer, she felt the burning behind her knee and screamed.  “Yes!  All the time…”

                “And would you say your voice is beautiful?”

                A tear slid from her eye.  “Yes…”

                “You’ve had enough for today.  I have something extra special planned for next time.” 

                Peridot was released and dragged back to her cell.  She lay down on her side and attempted not to let it get to her.  After all, if Elegance could face her punishment with quiet dignity then so could she. 

                A song floated from the next cell or two over.  “We kiss in a shadow, we hide from the moon.   Our meetings are few and over too soon.” 

                She took a ragged breath and answered.  “We speak in a whisper, afraid to be heard.  When others are near, we speak not a word.”

                “I have dreamed that your arms are lovely,” Elegance continued.  “I have dreamed what a joy you’ll be.  I have dreamed every word you’ll whisper when you’re close…close to me.”

                “How you look in the glow of…” her response was stopped by the sound of the force field powering down and looked up in horror at one of her jasper guards. 

                “You’ve been warned, multiple times.”  She kicked Peridot hard enough to send her flying into the back of the cell.  “Now stop!”

                It wasn’t long…not long at all before they came back for her.  She feared what they had planned, whatever Agate’s ‘something special’ was, it couldn’t be good.  She placed on the table again, this time on her back, which was still healing.  

                “Hello again,” Agate greeted her in that fake sweet voice while stroking her hair.  “I heard a rumor that after all our discussion and re-education, you’re still singing.  So, I figured, why make you wait?  Let’s give you your special surprise early.”

                “What are you going to do?”  Peridot moved her hands against the restraints.  Fear engulfed her as one of the jaspers held her head in place and tilted it back.  

                She felt fingers on her neck and then heard Agate speak again.  “Sing for me – no words, just a note.”

                And Peridot knew in that moment they were going to do something to her voice, either damage it or silence it completely.  She also knew that if she didn’t sing, they’d likely do something, anything, to make her open her mouth and this could mean more torture to make her scream rather than sing.

                “I’m waiting!”  Agate snapped impatiently.

                This was the last time anyone would ever hear her sing beautifully, so she picked a melody in her head – and let the notes out loud and clear.  Tears fell from her eyes as she realized she would not be able to ever respond to Elegance in song again.  Something sharp was snaked down her throat and she felt a tremendous shock.  It burned and she tried to scream but couldn’t, though it didn’t last long.  Afterwards, her throat felt raw and extremely sore.  She tried to make a sound, say something but couldn’t. 

                “Oh, don’t worry, your voice will recover, but it will never be the same.”  Agate leaned in close, grabbing Peridot’s hair and pulling.  “And you’ll never sing again.”

                Later, she would curl up in her cell, her throat swollen and throbbing.  She could hear Elegance singing nearby, trying to get a response from her loved one. 

_When others are near we speak not a word…_

                And Peridot let her tears fall because she couldn’t.

*

                She endured two sessions of ‘re-education’ in silence before her voice finally started returning.  It was scratchy, almost nasal and definitely not that of a singer.  Elegance had stopped singing and Peridot wondered if despair had started to settle in for her too.

                She was still unsure of how much time had passed, but there came a day when the force field was deactivated by a jasper she had never seen before.  This one was different and Peridot wasn’t entirely certain what to make of her.  First of all, her two-piece uniform was blue, so, she was not made for Yellow Diamond and second, she wasn’t broad-shouldered or bulky like the others.  She was thin and her gem was in her stomach.  She knelt down.  “Are you Peri?”

                “No,” she answered quickly in a terrified voice.  “I’m Peridot Facet-2F5L Cut-5XG and I’m a technician and I live to serve Yellow Diamond and the Great Diamond Authority.”

                “I’m not here to hurt you.  Ami sent me.”

                It seemed like forever since Peridot had even thought of Ami, but she recalled her saying she was partners with a jasper.  Still, she was leery.

                “They call me Skinny.”

                “If they catch you…”

                Skinny looked behind her and then turned her attention back to Peridot.  “I’m here to help.  There’s a ship leaving in a few hours bound for another planet.  I’m going to go borrow a yellow uniform and pretend I’m taking you for re-education, but Ami and I are going to smuggle you out on the ship.” 

                “What about Elegance?”

                “It’s too dangerous to try and get you both out.  Elegance wants you to go.” 

                “I don’t want to go without her.”

                Skinny put a hand to Peridot’s cheek.  “Hey, I know you’re scared and I know if we get caught, this will end badly for ALL of us, but if we succeed, at least you’ll be safe.  It’s a risk we’re willing to take…Ami and I.”

                “Can I say goodbye to Elegance?  I mean, a proper goodbye, face to face?”

                “I can’t make any promises, but I’ll try.”  Skinny squeezed her hand.  “Next time we meet, I’ll have to act a little mean, but you’ll be free soon after that.”

                “Thank you,” Peridot whispered as Skinny left the cell and reactivated the force field.  Soon…soon she would be free.  She imagined what the new planet would look like, but didn’t really care at this point.  Anything was better than Homeworld at this point. 

                True to her word, Skinny returned with another Jasper later on, her uniform yellow and her demeanor serious.  “Get up, twerp.”

                Knowing she was in no real danger, Peridot followed obediently instead of protesting as she usually did.  She wasn’t sure how Skinny was going to get her away from the other jasper, but she didn’t have to wait long before Ami came running up and whispered something that made the second jasper take off running.  “Peri!”

                She was scooped up in a hug and cried out in pain. 

                Ami immediately put her down.  “I’m sorry.  What have they been doing to you?”

                “Slowly attempting to break my spirit and I’m afraid it’s working.”

                “We don’t have much time,” Skinny reminded them as she took Peridot’s arm gently.  “Let’s go.  I have to get back to Blue Diamond’s base anyway before Holly Blue notices I’m missing.”

                “I’m afraid she’s already been informed,” a familiar voice said behind them.

                They turned and Peridot saw Big Boss standing there with her eyes full of contempt.   “Please, I can explain…”

                “Save it!  It’s obvious you tricked these two into helping you try and escape.  They don’t have the intelligence for such a plan.  After everything Yellow Diamond has done for you…has given you…this is how you repay her?”  Big Boss snatched her away from Skinny.  “As for you two, you will be dealt with accordingly by your own supervisors, though you won’t be quite so severely punished as your mastermind here.”

                Skinny took a step forward.  “But she…”

                “It was all me,” Peridot said.  “All me – I convinced them to do it and…and they do not apply logic to anything so they did it, but the plan was all mine.”  She knew she would get it bad, but she was already in deep trouble to begin with.  If she could spare Ami and Skinny punishment, well, she would.

                “You get back to your post; you get back to your diamond!”  With that, Peridot was half-dragged down the hall, struggling to keep up.  “With any luck, they’ll shatter you and I’ll finally be rid of you.”

                “What did I ever do?  Haven’t you had your revenge?”

                “No, not until you’re destroyed – whether it’s physically or mentally I care not.”

                As punishment for attempting to run away, she was whipped on her legs and feet this time.  No questions were asked; she didn’t cry this time.  As Big Boss had said, she was slowly being destroyed.  As the jaspers pulled her off the table and made her walk to her cell, she wondered what they could possibly do that would hurt worse. 

                She had no idea the worst was yet to come.

*

                The next time she was taken from her cell, Peridot was gagged and led to a large room where other peridots were gathered and Yellow Agate was waiting for them, Big Boss by her side.  For the first time, Elegance was beside her, also gagged; also in chains. 

                “I know some of you may think your curiosity and individuality is acceptable,” Yellow Agate stated to the crowd.  “But go too far and the consequences can be dire, as these two have found out.  They fell in ‘love’ and it caused them to against their very nature as gems and conduct disgusting acts that as you know are forbidden.  Era Twos – you are young yet.  As an example to your generation, Yellow Diamond has agreed to let this one live, but not before her memories are altered.  She has been sentenced to advanced re-education.”

                That did not sound good to Peridot who looked over at Elegance.  

                “Era Ones, you are older; you know Homeworld’s laws very well.  This one shouldn’t have led the younger generation astray.  As such, she has been sentenced to be shattered.”

                Peridot let out a tortured scream distorted by the gag.   She fell to her knees and the jasper behind her made no move to pull her up.  Meanwhile, Elegance slowly made her way to the front, ever the picture of grace and dignity.  Her gag was removed and she was asked if she had any final words.

                No…they were going to do this here.  Peridot attempted to move forward, still screaming, but the jasper held her back.

                Instead of saying her final words, Elegance sang the last parts of the lullaby she and Peridot had shared together many times before Peridot’s voice had been taken.

_In your eyes there is doubt_

_As you try to figure it out_

_But that's not what life is about_

_So have faith there's a way_

_Though the world may try to define you_

_It can't take the light that's inside you_

_So don't you dare try to hide_

_Let your fears fade away_  
  


_You are the dawn of a new day that's waking_

_A masterpiece still in the making_

_The blue in an ocean of grey_

_You are right where you need to be_

_Poised to inspire and to succeed_

_Soon you'll finally find your own way_

 

                And Elegance looked at Peridot and smiled as a tear fell from her eye.

Yellow Agate raised what looked like a destabilizer, but it was slightly different with a long point in the middle.  It was over in an instant; Elegance was gone, green pieces of her lay shattered on the floor and Peridot’s eyes flooded with tears.  Everything she had been through didn’t hurt as bad as this.  Her heart had shattered with her lover.  They should have shattered her too, but instead, she was roughly dragged away, back to the same room she was brought to right after she’d emerged.  Once again on the table, strapped down, her head immobilized. 

                “I’m going to miss our little run-ins,” the jasper said.  “You won’t even remember them.”

                The disembodied voice spoke.  “She’ll remember the torture; she won’t remember why.”

                “You’re wiping my memories?” Peridot asked.

                “Just hiding them.  They’ll still be there, but with no reminders, your brain won’t access them.”

                Peridot knew what they would hide too…Elegance…Ami…Skinny.  She would remember the bad with none of the good.  She didn’t have the strength to cry anymore and what was the point?  This was happening…there was no stopping it…

                That same light shone on her gem and she closed her eyes, keeping Elegance’s face and voice in her mind for as long as she could...before…

_I didn’t exist and then I did_

                “Wake up.”

                And as if on command, she opened her eyes.  A tall Era One peridot stood by the table; her ultimate supervisor, she knew without having to ask. 

                She, too, was a peridot, she knew this – Peridot Facet-2F5L Cut-5XG, Technician, created to serve Yellow Diamond.  She got off the table flawlessly, not needing to adjust to her limb enhancers or even question why they were there.  Of course she didn’t have to question it – it was simply what her diamond wanted and who was she to wonder why?

                She followed obediently when asked to and on the way they passed another gem – an amethyst guard who waved.  Peridot looked at her and gave a small nod, but what would she have in common with an amethyst?

She was shown to a work station where she sat down and used the technology literally at her fingertips to see what she was supposed to do. 

                “I want you to pay attention to your workmates,” her supervisor said simply. 

                Peridot glanced to her left and nodded politely to her counterpart, then looked to the right and gasped slightly.  That peridot was not wearing a visor and why would she need one?  She had no EYES, only dark sockets with a glowing green light in them.  She couldn’t see…not outside anyway…only when she was working and only what was necessary.   And she remembered she’d been hurt; she remembered her actions had hurt others.   Quickly, she turned back to her work knowing that obedience was absolutely expected.

                _I am Peridot Facet-2F5L Cut-5XG…_

_I am a technician…_

_My purpose is to serve Yellow Diamond…_

_I obey Yellow Diamond…_

_I am Peridot Facet-2F5L Cut-5XG…_

_I was created to serve Yellow Diamond…_

_I am a technician…_

_I LIVE to serve Yellow Diamond…_

~Fin~

**Author's Note:**

> "Wanderer's Lullaby" is the work of Adriana Figueroa - all lyrics belong to her and if you'd like to give it a listen (and I suggest you do as it's beautiful) here is the YouTube link - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=70VlAyEUXYM


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